Saturday, December 24, 2016

Wishing Ivanka Trump a Merry Christmas

            Ivanka Trump was born a Christian and raised as a Presbyterian, but she fell in love with an Orthodox Jew.  As do many gentiles who want to marry Jews, Ivanka Trump converted to Judaism.

            Converting to Judaism is no easy thing.  You really have to want it; Rabbis are loath to perform a conversion if the only reason for it is to facilitate a marriage.  In accordance with Jewish tradition, Rabbis are supposed to do whatever they can to discourage conversions.  To become a Jew, particularly under the auspices of an Orthodox Rabbi as Ivanka Trump’s is, often takes years of study.  It also involves a commitment to live in accordance with Jewish laws—including Sabbath and dietary observances--and a commitment to raise one’s children as Jews.  People who want to convert have to do all these things well before an Orthodox Rabbi will permit a conversion to be finalized.

            Ivanka Trump has done all of these things.  As is the case with most converts, she probably knows more about Jewish law, observance, and custom than most natural born Jews do.  During the Sabbath, which runs from Friday night at sunset until three stars appear in the sky on Saturday, she is absolutely unavailable for any business or business related purpose—including politics.  She cannot drive, ride, fly, handle money, watch television, listen to the radio, or even talk on the phone during the Sabbath.  She has adopted “Yael” as her Jewish name.  She sends her daughter to a Jewish Day School. And it is doubtful that she will be able to eat at her father’s new digs at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue because the White House does not have a kosher kitchen, a Rabbi on staff who supervises food preparation, or any assurance that the food, the plates and the silverware that comes out of the White House kitchen conform to Jewish dietary laws.

            While on his “Thank You Tour” in Michigan, Trump wished the crowd a hearty “Merry Christmas.”  And then he added:

We’re going to start saying Merry Christmas again. . . How about all those department stores?  They have the bells, and they have the red walls, and they have the snow, but they don’t have “Merry Christmas.”  I think they’re going to start putting up “Merry Christmas.”

            Do you suppose that Donald Trump wants people to wish his daughter, her husband, and her children “Merry Christmas?”  Is that the way the President-elect will greet them on Christmas, which, this year, coincides with Hannukah?

            I understand how important Christmas is to some of my Christian friends, and I have great respect for them and the way they celebrate their holiday.  Christmas spirit simply fills them with joy, and they want to share that joy with everyone else by extending to everyone with whom they come into contact a traditional Christmas greeting.  I understand that the spirit and good will behind the words they use is the real greeting.  I’m all for peace on earth and good will toward all.  But still, as an American Jew, the greeting is hard to accept.

            Part of the reason we extend a greeting to someone is simply to show respect for them; we consider inappropriate greetings to be insulting.   We’d likely call for the punishment of a child who addresses his or her teacher—or almost any other adult--by his or her first name.  Failing to stand when a judge enters his courtroom can subject a person to a fine or even jail time.  You’d never call a man “boy,” and I pity the fool who calls a grown woman “baby.”  We always call a physician “Doctor” to acknowledge his or her education and specialized training, and if you are looking for a job, the last thing you want to do is address the hiring manager by his or her first name, unless you have been invited to do so.

           A person who addresses another person in a way the greeter knows is inappropriate is simply being rude and disrespectful.  Thus, a Christian who knows that Ivanka Trump is Jewish but wishes her Merry Christmas anyway is being disrespectful.  Christmas is a Christian holiday that Ivanka Trump is not going to celebrate.  A wish for her to have a Merry Christmas is really a wish for nothing.  It’s like congratulating a person on his or her wedding despite the fact that the person isn’t married or getting married any time soon.

            But I would go a step further.  The only time a “Merry Christmas” is appropriate is when the greeter knows that the person he or she is greeting is a Christian who celebrates Christmas.  That kind of a greeting acknowledges the individuality of the person being greeted by recognizing something personal about that person.  That’s why “Happy Holidays” or even “Seasons Greetings” is a much more appropriate greeting to extend to strangers.

            I suppose I could let some of this go by just chalking mindless “Merry Christmas” greetings up to as simple boorishness, except for one other thing.  This particular greeting is also about power and privilege.

            When American Christians insist that Merry Christmas is the correct late December greeting in the United States, what they’re actually saying is that there are simply too few other people in this country who aren’t Christians to worry too much about what that small minority thinks or feels.  It says that the greeter didn’t care or couldn’t be bothered to remember that every American is not a Christian.  It says to non-Christians that the U.S. is a Christian country, and that those of us who aren’t Christians ought to either ignore who we are and get with the program or simply get out of the way.  It shows no respect for us.

            And that is why those department stores President-elect Trump was railing against don’t say “Merry Christmas.”  The last thing a business person wants to do is to show disrespect for a potential customer.  Inclusiveness facilitates the making of money.


            So, to all of my Christian friends, I wish you the merriest Christmas ever.  And to everyone else, may these last days of December be filled with light, family, good friends and, if you are so inclined, a fulfilling holiday observance.      

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